A Piece of Paper
by Aida
Summary: Luke and Lorelai's relationship from an unusual perspective.


**AN:** This fic was betaed by _llano_ and _WhittieGirl_, who were kind enough to help a stranger in need:) Thank you!

**A Piece of Paper**

I still remember the first time she touched me. It was ten years ago, and I am now rather advanced in age, yellowed, wrinkled and definitely run down with time, but the memory is still as vivid as if it happened only yesterday. Her hand was smooth and soft and I recall thinking that her hand lotion must have been well worth any price she paid for it.

That day she was in a hurry, I could tell by the way she snatched the newspaper from the newsstand and threw the money hastily to they guy selling magazines and papers. Still in the same catch-me-if-you-can manner she practically sprinted across the street to reach, as the signs on the building announced, either a hardware store or 'Luke's', whatever it stood for.

It turned out to be a diner, and as soon as she opened the door and the little bell above it jingled annoyingly, she breathed in the delicious aroma of coffee. Her eyes widened and she tightened her grasp on the newspaper. Oh, the coffee! She wanted that coffee, she wanted it now. So she let it be known, and very distinctly, let me tell you. I was there, I know. It was not very surprising that the man serving coffee didn't welcome her with loving arms! He must have considered her rather rude, so he just wouldn't give her the desired drink before he attended to other customers.

But boy, was she insistent. We were all, me and my eleven friends, listening with amusement to her desperate efforts, when something happened, something that changed my life (and his too) irrevocably. She asked when his birthday was, he answered – I smiled proudly then, he was Scorpio, just like me – and then she touched me. For a little while it felt like heaven. Her fingertips grazed me lightly and I felt that amazing smoothness I wouldn't be able to forget for years to come. But then, she took a pen and wrote something right on me! And the pen was scratchy! Oh, how that annoyed me. Didn't she realize that I wasn't just some piece of paper from a notebook that you could write on? I was a horoscope, I was in the daily news, I already had stuff written on me! You can't just add anything you like to a horoscope!

But she did. And it said:

"_You'll meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away."_

And she handed me to him. Their fingers touched, for the shortest moment. He looked up at her. And he was caught. Hook, line, and sinker. From now on, he just never could deny her anything.

So he gave her coffee.

But she didn't go away.

She told him to keep me, to put me in his wallet, and claimed I would bring him luck one day. It was nice of her, believing I could do that, but of course I had no such power. He seemed to think otherwise, though, because as soon as she was out of sight he really did put me in his leather wallet.

I must admit that at first I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of living in a wallet and in the form of a scrap torn out of its usual habitat. It wasn't easy to get used to living without my friends because what is a Scorpio horoscope without Libra and Sagittarius at its sides? I felt alone and abandoned, and on top of it all I didn't know what was going to happen to me. But after some time I came to the conclusion that I was in a rather comfortable situation. I mean, how long can a newspaper live? People's interest in it dies after two days tops, and then there is the painful process of recycling. And here days and weeks and months were going by and I was still myself, safely tucked in the brown leather shelter.

The man's name was Lucas Danes, or at least that's what his driver's license told me (it was very chatty, at least until we had a massive argument on the credibility of astrology). Everyone called him Luke, though. And her name – as she later revealed – was Lorelai.

I might be just a horoscope and not a love advice column, but I was pretty sure that Luke had more than just friendly feelings for Lorelai.

How did I know, you ask me? Well, intuition, I suppose. And deductive skills equal to those of Mr Holmes. You see, sometimes he would take me out of his wallet, straighten my edges with his rough fingers and he would just look at me sadly and sigh heavily. I wasn't conceited enough to think it was me who could stir such emotions in him. It had to be her. I suppose I was just a reminder of their first meeting, of her first gift to him, of the first time she manipulated him into getting her the beloved coffee. I was also a proof of how crazy and spontaneous and witty she was – and he loved her for all that. Who wouldn't?

She came to the diner very often, sometimes alone, sometimes with her daughter. I couldn't see her, but I could hear her talking, laughing and flirting mercilessly with poor Luke. I often wished he would just bite the bullet and do it – kiss her, ask her out, whatever really, anything to stop that heartbreaking sighing whenever he was alone and thinking about her. But he kept acting stubborn as a mule and they continued being just friends. In the meantime Luke's old girlfriend entered the scene (and Luke's apartment) and though she wasn't Lorelai, I admit I liked her. Probably what I liked most was that she was clever enough to spot Luke's longing for a certain coffee lover... She left, asking him to reveal his feelings to Lorelai. She was a really, really wise woman, that Rachel.

What a pity Luke didn't share her wisdom. Of course, he never followed her advice. And Lorelai got engaged to some other guy. That didn't last long, though, she broke it off before you could say "Taylor Doose is a pain in the ass". Quite a rollercoaster, wasn't it? And I'm not even half done.

I remember one summer when they fought and didn't speak to each other for a couple of months. That was a stressful time for me, as I know Luke more than once considered throwing me out. He would take me out, look at me intently and then turn his gaze to the wastebasket. But thankfully he never went through with it. And when they finally made up, he went back to his routine of just staring at me and sighing. Same old, same old.

I was slowly losing hope of ever seeing those silly two together when finally, after two boyfriends of Lorelai's and one wife of Luke's (yes, wife, imagine this – a mistake of the century) came the big break.

Luke and Lorelai got together. Ironic how he decided to risk asking her out only after listening to self-help tapes, something he really had no respect for. But far be it from me to complain. If it helped, I'm okay with it. Just wondering why on earth he needed tapes to realize something he had known all along, ever since she gave me to him.

Their first kiss took place on the porch of her Dragonfly Inn. I have to admit it's my fondest memory of them as a couple. Of course, I didn't get to see it – that would be too much to expect. But I could feel that she was there, that she was close to Luke and that it was finally happening. I wish he could have heard me cheering. Go, Luke!

Unfortunately, it was only after a couple of months that they could go on their first real date. He took her to dinner and though I was overjoyed with their going out, I hadn't expected to be presented to her! But that's what happened. They took a little trip down the memory lane remembering their first meeting and he decided to show me to her... It was the first time in eight years that I saw her and that she touched me. The feeling was just as earth-shattering as all those years ago and if only I could tremble of my own volition – I would have done it right then.

That was the night when her prediction came true and I really did bring him luck! More than once, I might add.

Now that they were together and she knew about me, sometimes at night when he was already snoring and she couldn't fall asleep she would sneak out of bed, find the wallet, take me out and just grin foolishly while she could barely see me in the dark. Her hands caressing me, can you imagine the pleasure? This relationship was bringing profit to more than just the couple, obviously. It didn't happen often though, after all she knew it wasn't exactly fair to spy inside Luke's wallet behind his back. Also, I think she was afraid of showing how much she cared for a piece of paper. Maybe she thought being emotionally attached to me was something to be ashamed of. I tried not to read too much into it when she once pointed out to Luke that he did get hang up on things – because he kept me. I tried my best not to take it personally, but it was a bit of a disappointment, especially after she wanted Luke to show me to other townspeople on the first town meeting they attended as a couple. I know, she was just joking, but it was nice anyway.

Their relationship was not always smooth. Lorelai's mother and the father of her daughter tried to meddle with it and at some point they succeeded - Luke and Lorelai broke up. Once more I had to live in fear of being disposed of. But yet again, they reconciled. It seemed to be their thing.

And when Lorelai of all people, the woman who had not yet said she loved him, proposed to Luke (and was gladly accepted), I was over the moon. I thought it would be the exciting climax to the relationship I was so happy with. I hoped they would now bring me out of my hiding, frame me and show me proudly to their family, friends and whoever dared to venture into their crazy house. After all, I was the one who brought them together in the first place, so I think I deserve the credit!

I should have known life just loves to play nasty tricks on the hopeful.

It just never happened.

The year that followed the proposal was the most difficult year we have ever had to go through (even disregarding the fact that I had to move. Lorelai got Luke a new wallet and while it was undoubtedly a nice gesture, I think I'm too old to appreciate a change like that. One does not transplant and old tree). At first, Lorelai would put off setting the wedding date, due to a serious argument with her daughter. And then, when this was resolved, another problem popped up. And what a problem it was! Another daughter. But this time – it was Luke's daughter, April, whose mother had never told Luke he had the honor of becoming a father.

Oh, I know you think I'm making this up. A long lost daughter - this sounds like a bad soap opera.

But that's what happened, really. Suddenly, Luke found himself a father to a twelve-year-old.

I can't even begin to tell how much she changed in Luke and Lorelai's relationship. Luke was always a family man, but for years his real family has been nothing but defunct, consisting of his cracked sister Liz and the indepented nephew Jess, who always kept his distance. Lorelai and her daughter had become like a second family to him, having Thanksgiving dinner with him, asking him to high school graduation. They were also supposed to become his real family now and I don't think I ever knew Luke to feel as proud as he was when Lorelai' daughter called him her stepfather-to-be. But with April's arrival the equilibrium created over the years was shaken. She was real family. There were blood ties involved. She came first.

The wedding was postponed.

Even I could tell that Lorelai didn't really want it to be postponed and yet Luke eagerly accepted her offer to do so. And though it's hard for me to tell (she talked so little recently and never snuck to look at me anymore), I suppose her disappointment and impatience just grew and grew until its size could be compared to the huge hole Luke's brother-in-law made in Lorelai's wall. The explosion was inevitable.

And now, she's gone. She couldn't stand it, and somehow I can uderstand her. I can, and I'm just a piece of paper! Luke is a human being who had loved her for ten years and yet he just doesn't get her. He let her go away. She left us – me and him both, and I don't know about Luke, but I feel as lonely and abandoned as I felt at first in his wallet. And this time, it's different. This time he doesn't even want to look at me, he won't take me out, he won't sigh, nothing. Is it over for good?

I know they were both to blame. He pushed her away, not letting her be a part of his life with April. She let her emotions bottle up inside her until... oh, I can't even talk about what she did. But I'm not going to pick a side. I'm just like Kirk, I can't be neither pink nor blue.

But old as I am, I'm still a fool and I hope she comes back. And I hope she does it soon, because without her around again, I don't know how much longer he'll keep me in his wallet. I can't even count on being recycled now – he'd just throw me out together with other garbage, not bothering to put me with other paper where I belong. Decomposing is not really something I'm looking forward to.

And I also hope she comes back because I really believe it's meant to be. It's written in the stars. It's not up to her, to just decide that she'll go away, as she had written on me. There's more to it, I can feel it with every fiber of my cellulose body.

But I'm just a piece of paper. What do I know?


End file.
